When People You Admire Get It Wrong: Stephen Fry, Neurodivergence, and Trans Rights

Stephen Fry, Neurodivergence, and Trans Rights

I’ve been sitting with this one.
Because, honestly, it’s made me uncomfortable.

Stephen Fry has always been one of those people for me.
Smart. Kind. Open about the hard stuff.
One of the few public voices who talks about mental health, bipolar, neurodivergence—and actually gets it.

So when I saw his recent comments about neurodivergence, I’ll admit it, I loved it.
He said what so many of us have been screaming into the void for years.
Stop looking at neurodivergence as broken.
Stop trying to fit us into your narrow idea of normal.
He made ADHD sound... human. Valuable. Like our gears just turn differently.

I was nodding along.
Finally. Someone gets it.

And then... he opened his mouth about trans rights.

On a podcast that’s known for platforming anti-trans views, he called Stonewall’s trans policies "nonsensical."
Said they were stuck in a "quagmire."
Talked about the "current wave" like it was some ridiculous trend, not people’s actual lives.

That’s when the floor kind of dropped out.

Because when you’re neurodivergent, there’s a good chance you also sit under the trans or queer umbrella, or you love someone who does.
We know what it feels like to have our existence debated.
To have people question our healthcare.
To have public figures use polite language to mask harmful narratives.

And when it’s someone like Fry?
Someone who knows what it’s like to feel outside the norm?
That stings.

Why does this hit harder than if it was some random celebrity?

Because it feels personal.
Because he’s been in the fight.
Because he should know better.

And yet...
Maybe that’s also the trap.
We expect people like him to get it all right.
We want them to move at our pace.
And when they don’t, we feel betrayed.

Does that mean we excuse it?

Absolutely not.
Fry’s comments are harmful.
They give people who already want to erase trans rights another stick to swing.
They make people like me feel like maybe our allies weren’t really with us after all.

But maybe it’s also a reminder that no one—however loved, however clever—is above getting it wrong.
That being brilliant in one area doesn’t make you wise in all of them.
That even our heroes have blind spots.

So where does that leave us?

I’m not canceling Fry.
But I am disappointed.
And I’m not going to pretend those comments didn’t hurt people.
We can hold both.
We can respect his work on neurodivergence and still call out where he’s failing trans communities.

That’s the uncomfortable middle ground.
It’s not neat. It’s not satisfying.
But maybe that’s where real change happens.
In the messy, jagged, human places where we admit when people we love get it wrong.

Get in Touch

If this stirred something up for you, or if you’ve got thoughts, disagreements, or lived experiences of your own—I’m always up for honest conversation.

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I don’t have all the answers.
But I do believe in creating spaces where we can talk about the hard stuff, without judgment.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

Read more about Stephen's comments here:-

https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/12/20/stephen-fry-stonewall-trans-backlash/